This is Bishop Jim Swilley. It’s long. Watch the whole thing. My distaste of megachurches aside, in the midst of the bullycides, this is a powerful thing. What are your thoughts?

I hope we can get him on the podcast soon.

[News story]

In my sermon this week, I decided to revise the famous “Footprints in the Sand” poem to reflect Matthew 6:24 about serving two masters. Here it goes:

One more set of footprints

Last night I had a dream. I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonged to me, the other to the Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was one more set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.  “Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, you would be all I needed. You’d walk with me all the way. But during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, I saw another set of footprints. I don’t understand why anyone else would come between us.”

The Lord replied, “My son, my precious child, I love you and I wish there were only two sets of footprints. During your times of suffering, when you saw three sets of footprints, it was then that you brought along your friend Mammon.”

Rethinking a Messiah’s Miracle

I’m struck how this miracle—Jesus’ first—and most of his good works, were not performed in churches or synagogues, but among the riffraff and ragamuffins; in homes, at parties, and among common folk outdoors. In fact, most people are surprised to hear that Jesus didn’t found a new religion or an institutional church,[1] nor expect his followers to set up a Christian version of the synagogue. His “church” he spoke of was known in Greek as ekklesia, which merely means a gathering of people under a common cause. The same word is used for a “mob” in the book of Acts.[2] It is not a human institution with professional salaried clergy, a clergy-laity distinction, meetings in buildings, church budgets, hierarchal leadership, and legalistic requirements, such as tithing; most of these were elements the later Roman church adopted and borrowed from pagan culture.[3] This doesn’t mean modern churches are bad (although they can become so and even oppressive when an environment of legalism is allowed to breed), just that they’re optional.[4]

Why dwell on an alternate scenario of the Master’s first miracle? It just might help us see past the religious lens most of us peer through when we imagine Jesus. He is just as likely to create fine microbrews as wine at a party (perhaps more so since most beer is significantly lower in alcohol content than wine). He was known to hang out with gluttons and whores,[5] approved of august celebrations, reminded us he didn’t come to destroy lives,[6] always remembered the poor, and read from a version of the Bible that celebrates human sexuality, rather graphically.

WWJB? We keep coming back to what he would not brew to answer that question. He would make fine wine, craft choice beer, nurture unselfish love, but never, I contend, brew a spirit of religion that cultivates fear, spiritual manipulation, and a legalistic approach to life.

[1] Gary Wills, What Jesus Meant, page 78.

[2] Wills, op. cit. page 78.

[3] Frank Viola and George Barna, Pagan Christianity: Exploring the Roots of Our Church Practices, page xix.

[4] A Pew poll the week of August 20, 2010 found 18 percent of Americans think President Barak Obama is a Muslim, only one third correctly identify him as a Christian, and 43 percent have no idea what his religion is. The fact that Obama and his family haven’t joined a Christian church as of the time of the poll may influence these confused perspectives and highlights how Americans often put more stock in superficial religiosity than genuine Christian charity.

[5] Matthew 11:19 and 21:31

[6] Luke 9:56

Check out Part 1 and Part 2 of this series.

Rethinking a Messiah’s Miracle

Might I suggest Jesus would favor brewing up a batch of European varieties such as the Floreffe Special Reserve, a rich dark beer seasoned with anise spice and orange peel. At eight percent alcohol content, this Belgium Ale is a joy to drain and represents a choice brew that would easily match the words of the party master when he says, “You saved the best for last.” Perhaps we should do the same. No, we can’t always do what Jesus did, but at times we can emulate his example. We can bless others by “saving the best gifts for last” and love our neighbors to the end with increasing kindness, beyond their expectations.

I wonder if Jesus would give us a taste of his sense of humor. If not a Belgium beer, I imagine him turning water from kegs into one of my favorite Pacific Northwest microbrews. Perhaps a Silver City (near Seattle, WA) Scotch Ale, aged in American Oak with a tinge of whiskey. He would anticipate the lovemaking of the bride and groom that would occur later that night and honor them and their guests with this award-winning choice appropriately named, Fat Woody. After tasting it, the banquet master would laugh at the bridegroom (remember, in the story, he doesn’t realize the wine comes from Jesus and not the groom), when he recognizes the exceptional beer and remembers its name.

“Scandalous to even think of such a thing,” an uptight believer might say. Yet, dwell on this: If Jesus shared with the crowds a scripture appropriate for a wedding, he wouldn’t be constrained by many of the mistranslations we have in our modern Bibles.1 He may remember the Song of Songs when Solomon writes “Your love is more delightful than wine,”2 referring to a beautiful maiden doling over her man. Knowing the scriptures like the back of his hand, he might recall the man and woman describing each other’s nude bodies. You read that right: Nude. First, there is the reference to the woman’s breasts being like clusters of fruit. Then, even though our modern translations use the words “navel” or “body” in a couple passages, the correct Hebrew words in the manuscripts from which we derive ours were euphemisms for female and male genitalia.3 Gotta be naked to notice those. At times our modern Bibles are incorrect and Song of Songs is a tad pornographic—in good taste.

What are some more possibilities? Being concerned with getting to the original truth, perhaps he would create something from the oldest brewery in the world—the origin of beer—the Bavarian Wiehenstephan. Its malty, Dark Wheat Beer, would be worthy of a King. Or maybe an American version of a great German beer, like the Silver City Oktoberfest, an amber lager with a rich malty sweetness. Then there’s the infamous Portland, Oregon Deschutes Brewery. One of their reserve brews like the Imperial Stout, called The Abyss (one beer writer calls it precious stuff), would fit the bill. With delightful hints of molasses, licorice, and chocolate flavors, this 11 percenter would be a fine choice for Jesus to craft, although I trust the banquet master would insist it be served in smaller glasses to encourage moderation.

1. Michael Camp, Beware of Bible Abuse
2. Song of Songs 1:2
3. See Lawrence, Raymond, Sexual Liberation: The Scandal of Christendom, page 23, referring to Song of Songs 5:14 and 7:2.

Check out Part 1 of this series.